Two associated expressions of life happened to cross my path today. The lack of the first expression might lead to the creation of the other. But, the existence of that first expression might also resolve the other. These particular expressions of life are self-love and low self-esteem.
As I reflected on this, my thoughts went on to think about the role of our hearts within these expressions. Here, I find myself believing in the purity of our hearts, as negotiators of our connections between earth and spirit. However, I also see the many influences that often disrupt, distort, and break these connections, both intentionally and unintentionally. Moreover, I see how the destruction of these connections can lead to broken spirits, broken hearts, and feelings of being totally alone and disconnected from everyone and everything. Thus, from my perspective, low self-esteem becomes a product of our inability to love ourselves due to influential forces, which cause partial or total disconnections between our hearts, bodies, and spirits.
Bringing in my reflections from the last two days that included expectations and the variations of life and death, I feel a greater depth of causation appearing for the experience of low self-esteem that brings forth many questions. To begin with, I think about our ability to find and feel love for ourselves. How can we love ourselves and feel loved when our existence is outside of traditional expectations or traditional ways of living life? Who is willing and able to hold space for this? Where can we go to find and to feel reverence for our hearts?
Then, I also think about our inability to love ourselves. What happens when we can’t love ourselves and can’t feel loved by others? What happens to the people who can’t hold space for us? What happens to the world when we can’t find and feel the reverence for our own hearts?
Within this line of questioning, I sense being boxed in by particular ideas and ways of being from many different directions, which allow for increasingly slimmer opportunities of expressing ourselves, our power, and our humanness. Additionally, I find the space where much abuse and trauma have resulted in our inability to find, hold, and love our own heart and the variations of life and death that it wishes to express and experience. As I do so, I wonder about our ability and willingness to begin breaking free of the boxes and the trauma. Can we find those spaces where we can both hold our hearts and feel our hearts being held? Are we willing to offer reverence to ourselves, our hearts, and the heart’s of others? Can we then create a more reverent collective dream together from the spaces of our own human hearts?