October 24, 2017: Being Without Explaining

Although I began to write about a particular topic tonight, I also continued to feel the same unease I have been feeling for the past several days with regard to this journey of allowing death and cultivating heart. But then, as I set it aside for a moment, I suddenly felt the words of “I DON’T WANT TO EXPLAIN WHO I AM ANYMORE!!!” arise from within me. Along with this, I could also feel the grief that was just hanging around in the background of my heart.

14749793351_0871f0dcc9_o
“Don’t miss a single color” by Marcelo César Augusto Romeo under CC BY 2.0

In receiving this announcement from myself, I feel I have wanted to be heard for who I am and for what I think about. I have also desired to express my personal perspectives in taking our journeys through life. I haven’t really been looking for validation. But, I have been attempting to create a connective bridge of understanding between different worlds of potential life experience.

With regard to not wanting to explain further though, I feel a deeper part of me exists that just wants to have my own experience without picking it apart and explaining it. In doing so, however, I feel a restriction of movement that slows me down and doesn’t allow me to fully expand myself at a rate I am comfortable with. I feel less able to just be in the world and be who I am.

Thus, I am not sure whether this project will continue in its current format. I don’t know if this is arising as part of the process or if this is signaling the end. So, stay tuned to see what might or might not actually happen next.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

Create a website or blog at WordPress.com

Up ↑