Within the center of my chest, I feel a rock heavy with sorrow, heavy with armor that defends against harmful intrusion. Everywhere I turn, I see the armor-coated rocks bracing, awaiting, and expecting the next attack. I can also see those preparing to make their ascent through the unsecured facets of trust, compassion, and kindness. They come to infiltrate, manipulate, and pierce the softest, most vulnerable places for their own perceived glorification.
But what glory is this? What glory do they really feel, deep down within their own soft and vulnerable places? Do they not have within them the largest and most heavily armored rock of sorrow? Do they not contain the most death, the most longing, and the most desire?
Reflecting on these sensations and these thoughts moving through me, the words of “lookin’ for love in all the wrong places” comes to mind as the lyrics from “Lookin’ for Love” by Johnny Lee. But in thinking of this, I also think of looking for connection in all the wrong places. But then I suppose love is the same as, or at least similar to, connection.
Between the hearts of rocks already heavily armored and the places where we are looking for love and connection, are the spaces where love might be attempted but not found. This is perhaps where I have found myself after holding the vibration of self-love within me for a few days, as I begin to cast out or further release what does not serve in loving myself and my life. More specifically, I believe I’m talking about letting go of the watching, analyzing, and making perceptions, which interferes with the making of connections, forming of relationships, and allowing the experience of love that I am looking for.
And so I invite you into your places of looking for love. What kind of love have you actually found there? How can you work with both your rocks of sorrow and your attempts to find and experience love? How might your sorrows serve you in remembering what is desired within your life and within our next collective dream together?